Archive for the ‘Life changes’ Category

Found in the Archives 1

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

Found in my archives –

“Lonely,” he said. “Comfort me.”
So we began, by email that bared too much and revealed too little.
Back and forth, stepping into what we do not know.
A month ago, he lost his wife. Twenty-five years ago, we kissed.
“I remember,” he said, “and that memory feeds me.”
I remember, but single for too long, I coil into myself.
Still, we type, fingers seeking the marrow of our fears.
“Stop,” I said. Or did I say slow?
We met for lunch.

Needless to say, this didn’t work out.

The Next Phase

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Three cycles:

  • Cycle 1 – In 1978, I moved to DC to start my first real job as an adult. In 2013, my career ended, a bit prematurely (long story).
  • Cycle 2 – In 1981, I got married. In 1992, my marriage dissolved.
  • Cycle 3 – In 1982, I bore the first of my three children. In 2012, the last of my children graduated from college and became self sufficient.
  • Three cycles – and full circle on all of them, putting me back to square one. I don’t think DC has another beginning for me, so for the last six months I have been renovating my home of 34 years and will move to another state in a few months. I finished the work on my house this week.

    So here is the Big Question: How do I be a real beginner again, like I was 45 or so years ago when I was a young 20-something with all the potential in the world? How did it feel to be open to whatever might happen? How was I able to live in the moment? After 45 years of responsibility, intense scheduling, and above all control, how do I slow down, drop my defenses, and let new experiences and people into my life again?

    I have no idea, but I hope I can do it.